Gamebook store

Friday, 9 February 2018

Snakes alive!

It's here at last. The Serpent King's Domain, that is, seventh in the Fabled Lands gamebook series. This one takes you south of the Violet Ocean to Ankon-Konu and it's a whopper, slithering in at a juicy 1200 sections. Illustrated by Russ Nicholson, of course, and with a new cover painting by Star Wars and Marvel concept artist Kev Jenkins.

There are two editions. The large format (8x10 inch) paperback matches the original 1990s books and has the regional map in full colour on the back, as well as six special starting characters based on the principal backers of Megara Entertainment's Kickstarter campaign. The regular paperback (5x8 inches) matches the new 2010 editions, and the map is in black and white.

You'll find the map and six other starting characters, old friends indeed, HERE.

There you go, FL fans. And it only took 22 years and the invention of crowdfunding to get us here. Enjoy.




Both editions are also on Amazon's French and Italian and German sites. And all over the world; just search locally. Oh, and I know I always say this but it really, really helps us when readers leave reviews on Amazon. Even just one sentence and a rating. If you do that right now, you'll be helping to ensure there's a book 8 almost as surely as if you pledged for it on Kickstarter.

The image at the top of the post is not book 7. Well spotted. It's actually the cover of the forthcoming Italian edition of The War-Torn Kingdom, art by Shen Fei. You can see more, including the cover of the first Blood Sword book, on the publisher's website.

Wednesday, 7 February 2018

Enchant all the ladies and steal all the scenes

All that talk of aeronauts last time reminded me of another more-or-less abandoned project from back when I was revamping my Tirikelu RPG.

The Time of No Kings was to be set in the Dark Ages of Tekumel, a period of Rhialto-like wizards and Cugel-like rogues.The snag was, under the rules of the Tekumel Foundation I couldn't publish it in print form or make any money from it. I thought of moving it across to a different science fantasy setting. The world of Abraxas, perhaps. And in that form it might yet happen.

Really it would just be a love letter to the genre of science fantasy, which I discovered at an early age with Mike Moorcock's Kane of Mars novels. "Airships and swordplay meet blasters and psionic aliens," as I said in this post. What's not to like?


That's where that painting comes from, by the way. It was James Cawthorn's cover for Moorcock's Barbarians of Mars. Picture the ten-year-old Morris standing in a secondhand bookshop in Woking clutching that battered tome and thinking, "Mars... swords... and airships...!" Possibly the lithe undraped maidens too were starting to dimly register as objects of unsettling emotion on my reason-bright mind; or maybe that was still a few years off. Anyway, with or without a girl on my arm, I wanted my own airship.

You're thinking the balloon envelope looks a little small? That was the attraction, of course. Moorcock set his stories on a long-ago Mars that hadn't yet lost its atmosphere, so the low gravity meant you could get away with using a lot less helium. Tiddly up up!

Friday, 2 February 2018

Dive into the Dune Sea




Fans of fantasy gamebooks will certainly have encountered Destiny Quest, Michael J Ward's epic adventure series. The latest instalment, The Raiders of Dune Sea, is currently on Kickstarter until February 11. See if this teaser whets your appetite:
"A lost race returns from the shrouds of time, armed with the powerful magics of Ragnarok to unleash their bitter vengeance on an unsuspecting world. The shifting sands of the southern desert will run red with blood as the robbers and pirate captains of the Dune Sea are dragged into a deadly war – one which could unravel time and change the destiny of all."
I don't normally get behind Kickstarters - well, not successful ones anyway. But I'm intrigued by the new character profession of aeronaut, having always liked the idea of piloting an airship of my own, as you'll have realized if you found the manta car in Heart of Ice. Blame Edgar Rice Burroughs and Mike Moorcock for that. And, all unbidden, Paul Gresty included some airship travel in The Serpent King's Domain, so don't miss that when it comes out in a week or so, will ya? Still, not to get sidetracked... the Fabled Lands team bearded Michael Ward in his lair and asked him about the new book (or maybe two books -- see below) in this exciting series.

"Michael, can you start by telling us a bit about what makes Destiny Quest unique?"

Like traditional gamebooks, you play the main protagonist and make decisions for that character throughout the story. However, in Destiny Quest, the choices you make also extend to the items and abilities that you choose for your hero. It has the familiarity of a typical gamebook but with the depth of a more involved role-playing adventure.

The Destiny Quest system takes its main inspiration from modern online RPGs (such as World of Warcraft) and hack-and-slash action games (like the Diablo series). In each book, you engage in multiple strategic battles, using your varied abilities to help counter those of your opponent. If you are successful in combat, then you get to choose from a selection of rewards (loot drop, yay!). These rewards will typically come in the shape of armour, weapons and trinkets, all of which can be ‘equipped’ onto your hero to boost their attributes and give them new abilities.

Each book has hundreds of unique items and abilities to discover, giving readers a huge amount of choice when it comes to outfitting and customizing their hero.

"How about other things that distinguish the series? Can you share your creative 'mission statement' for these books?"

As I’ve already touched on, I wanted this series to have a ‘videogame’ feel, with more strategic combat and a heavy emphasis on customization. In addition to that, there is also the quest map system, which again harkens back to open world CRPGs such as World of Warcraft.

Readers use the maps in each book to select their quests (which are colour-coded for difficulty). There are also other locations you can visit, such as towns and cities, and legendary monster encounters – which are tougher opponents you can take on for extra special rewards.

There is also a career system, based on the three paths that you can choose for your hero – warrior, mage or rogue. By discovering career trainers or unlocking careers through special achievements, players can further customize their hero by specializing them in certain professions. As a rogue for example, you could become an assassin or a witchfinder – and each career has its own inherent special abilities which may influence the way you play and the items you choose to equip.

"Players take a new character in each book. Does that mean their former characters are done with, or might he/she return in later books?"

Each book has its own unique hero and story to tell, so they are essentially standalone adventures - so there is nothing stopping anyone jumping into the series at any point. However, when read together in sequence, they do tell a grand over-arching story with returning themes and characters. And yes, you might even encounter your hero from a previous adventure in a later book, but as an NPC who you will be interacting with.

In Book Two, there are also team battles, where you can team up with a hero from another book (either your own or perhaps even a friend’s creation) to battle a super tough boss monster!

"We've often heard DQ likened to Warcraft or Diablo. To what extent have videogames influenced your design decisions, compared to say tabletop roleplaying?"

Destiny Quest was very much born out of my obsession with World of Warcraft (and games of a similar ilk). I became so addicted to the latter that I was playing nearly fifty hours a week and it was starting to consume my life. I don’t regret a minute of it, but sinking all those hours into that experience made me wonder why no-one had really tried to capture that in a book format (admittedly, I wasn’t aware of the Fabled Lands series at the time!). So that’s why I sat down and planned how I was going to approach that type of experience – and the gamebook format was the obvious choice.

Of course, I’m a huge gamer and enjoy all types of gaming experiences, from CCGs to tabletop dungeon crawls. I love exploring different game mechanics and am constantly soaking up ideas and systems that I can tweak and incorporate into gamebooks. Destiny Quest is very much a melting pot of all my game experiences.

Sadly, I don’t really do any roleplaying nowadays, basically due to time and the difficulty of getting people together for that kind of sustained play – but I do remember my AD&D days fondly, and have spent far too much time than is sensible watching Pathfinder sessions and other RPG games being played on YouTube. Again, all fuel for the creative fire.

"Are there any plans to convert Destiny Quest into a videogame?"

Because Destiny Quest is so hugely influenced by computer RPGs, I feel as though the system would offer the perfect blueprint for a multitude of gaming experiences, from card and board games to a fully-fledged open world Diablo ‘hack-a-thon’. Sadly, I’ve not had any offers yet (!) but it’s certainly something I would be immensely passionate in supporting and contributing to.

"How do you map out the books? Do you do a full flowchart first or plan in sections as you go?"

Everything starts with the story, which may sound obvious – but worth stressing I think. Knowing where you want your story to go and the various key stages/moments of that journey, will make everything else a lot easier. Then I usually focus on the maps and the type of environment that will feature in each act of the story. From there, I work on each quest one by one – then add the choices into my master document once each one is complete.

I do create a rough flowchart as I plan up each quest, which helps with keeping me on course – but I rarely stick to it, and often drift off into a multitude of decision trees. I think you have to work quite organically and adapt, as you can never second-guess where your narrative can take you. But having that original road map to come back to is always useful, otherwise you can go overboard and suddenly your 5000 word quest just became a 20,000 word behemoth.

“What sort of work goes into balancing the game system? How do you balance the dozens of special abilities a player might use? (As well as the various possible player builds that emphasise, say, durability rather than speed?)"

A huge amount of work goes into the playtesting – almost as much as writing the book. During the actual writing of each story, I add in items, abilities and monster stats but there is a lot of guess work involved. It isn’t until the writing is done and I am happy with the text, that I actually sit down with a bunch of dice and get stuck into the game.

Some people are surprised when they discover I have no elaborate algorithms or programs that test the combats or streamline the itemization. I literally play through the book as a reader would – and simply do that again and again and again. It can drive you slightly mad, I won’t deny it, and there are frequent times when you just want to throw the manuscript out of the window! But there is also a huge amount of satisfaction in getting it right, when things click into place and everything becomes polished.

I’ve always preferred not to give out my book to others to test (well, I did have a friend briefly test some sections of Legion back in the day) as it would just become too difficult to manage all the feedback and opinions. I feel, with three books under my belt now, that I have a pretty good handle on what works and what doesn’t, and a sense of the right level of difficulty to ensure the adventure is challenging but fun.

"A purely creative/writing type question. What are the main inspirations for your fantasy world?"

I’ve always been fascinated with history. I did two history A-levels (the equivalent of high school diplomas for those in the US) and a history Bachelor’s Degree, so I’ve had a varied experience of different time periods. Also my day job, when I’m not creating gamebooks, is writing educational materials for schools and I was quite heavily involved in designing creative lesson plans linked to the recent National Curriculum changes – most of which were history focused.

So, I think when designing worlds and telling stories, I always try and draw from the events, people and cultures that I have learned about. Perhaps less so with Legion of Shadow, which I’ll admit was quite a generic take on fantasy (owing to a lot of pressure to give the book as much mass/age appeal as possible), but later books have delved much deeper into themes such as religion, segregation, war, politics and so on. 


“On the theme of creative inspiration, what made you decide to base the new book in a desert environment – the Dune Sea?”

I’ve wanted to tell a story in a desert setting for some time. As previously mentioned, I have always loved history, and at one point in my life I was even considering becoming an Egyptologist – so I’ve always wanted to draw on my love of Egyptian culture and mythology at some point. Who wouldn’t want to imagine being Howard Carter or Indiana Jones, discovering a lost tomb or delving into a mysterious pyramid!

Interestingly, one of my biggest influences for the new book was the sci-fi film Hardware (1990, Palace Pictures). [Based on "Shok!" by Steve MacManus and Kevin O'Neill -DM.] For me, back in the day, it was a truly ground-breaking movie, which took a refreshing art-house style approach to the genre – and had a huge impact on me creatively (when I was considering a career in screenwriting and direction). I will never forget its evocative opening sequence of a Mad Max style scavenger trudging through an apocalyptic desert, a lone figure swept up in the crimson haze of a sandstorm. The character, known as the nomad, ends up discovering a piece of military hardware – the head of a robot, which he takes back to a ragtag settlement which passes for civilization in this post-war environment.

Amusingly, I actually misheard the line of dialogue in the ensuing scene when the desert nomad is asked where he found the parts. To me, he always sounded as though he was saying ‘Dune Sea’ but later, when I discovered a copy of the screenplay, he is apparently saying ‘Judas Sea’, which would tie in with the religious iconography and themes of the film. Nevertheless, in my ignorance, I was like ‘wow, Dune Sea… that’s cool’ – and always wanted to somehow incorporate that concept into a story.
 

"Previous DQ books have been notable for their dramatic, high-quality artwork. How closely do you get involved with that side of production?"

The stunning cover for Book Four [see above -DM] was created by a good friend of mine, Paul Cheshire, who did much of the artwork that you will see on the Destiny Quest website.

"When does the Kickstarter campaign run until?"

The Kickstarter is running until 11 February. I’ve been completely blown away by amazing support – a huge thank you to all those who have already pledged. We managed to reach our funding goal within just a few days – but now it’s all about the stretch goals and unlocking extra goodies, so if you are still on the fence, then now might be the time to take the plunge!

"There's always somebody who'll say they're interested a week after the campaign closes. For those who miss it, will the book be available on Amazon?"

First off, I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a late pledge option, so that those who missed the Kickstarter can still pledge for a book. Going forward, the book will be primarily available from the Megara Entertainment website (in both softcover and hardcover format). I also plan to sell some copies myself – perhaps through Amazon UK and/or eBay. Certainly, the book will be in plentiful supply after the Kickstarter so no-one need worry.

“And do you already have plans for Book Five?”

Book Five will actually be the continuation of the story told in this one, so I do have it mapped out in some detail. I ended up splitting the story across two books because I was simply running out of space and wordage to do the story justice.

That being said, I’m not sure when I will get around to starting Book Five. These books take a huge amount of time to write – and it’s difficult to fit other work around them, so inevitably I take a bit of a financial hit during the months when I am focused on DQ. So with Book Four near to completion, it will be back to the day job to hopefully swell the coffers again, so I can afford to write the next one. If only I could win the lottery or discover a rich gamebook benefactor.

“And if you could pitch Destiny Quest in one sentence?”

An epic open world videogame in a book – explore, battle and loot your way to victory!




And that Kickstarter link again. But don't drag your feet -- there's just one more week to go.

Friday, 26 January 2018

Oh no it isn't

"The GM announces that they are making an intrusion and hands the player whose PC is the primary target of that intrusion 2 XP. That player can either spend 1 XP they already have to cancel the intrusion (returning the 2 XP to the GM) or they can accept the intrusion, take 1 XP for themselves, and give 1 XP to another player."
Justin Alexander reviewing Numenera's "GM Intrusion" mechanic there. And although he musters a spirited argument for why the rule is less obtrusive than some dissociated mechanics, something like that would sure snip the strings on my willing suspension of disbelief.

Where this kind of mechanic differs from the kind of negotiation with the referee you get in improv moments of role-playing is in the bartering of XPs. And clearly the main effect of that is to remind you it's a game. Poetic faith withers when you start doing a cost-benefit analysis.

What it reminds me of is boardgames. A lot of RPGs these days try very hard to be boardgames. That's not necessarily a criticism (hey, have fun whatever way you like) but I'm curious as to what's driving the trend against immersion. Is it a stab at Brechtian alienation? Is it because RPGs need to impress as reading material rather than playing material so as to get good reviews (ie most reviewers read them like a book, they don't playtest them)? Is it because new RPGs are catering to the players who are embarrassed about staying in character? Is keeping an authorial distance from their characters something that players have picked up from videogames? Are roleplaying designers coming up with narrative mechanics in a bid for respectability? ("Hey, I'm not just inventing rules, I'm shaping an art form *...")

I'm interested because I'm thinking of putting a (sort of) story-guiding element in my Zenotic Dragon Warriors 2e project, sometimes known as Jewelspider. And most of my thinking has been in the direction of making it work without jerking the players out of character. So if you've played a system like that and found it doesn't spoil your immersion, do tell.

*Re that, listen to this episode of Improvised Radio Theatre With Dice where, from 41m15s onwards, Roger Bell West and Michael Cule discuss the aesthetics of roleplaying, and whether adhering to genre breaks what's good and unique about roleplaying by slaving it to fiction. I note that in real life we don't expect to continually perceive the aesthetics of a story form in what we're doing (though sometimes we experience "atomic narrative" elements that we later weave into a story) but instead react in the moment to the aesthetics of beauty (a sunset) or character (humour) or wonder (a new idea or experience).

Thursday, 25 January 2018

Egg hatching

It's hard to get definite information, but it does seem that backers of The Serpent King's Domain are now starting to get their hardcover copies from Megara. See Exhibit A above, m'lud. And while I think that the higher-level backers won't be getting theirs for a while yet, on account of Jamie and I haven't been sent any bookplates to sign, it does beg the question of when Fabled Lands Publishing should release the paperbacks.

I put this question to Mikael Louys of Megara before Christmas and he said:
"As until January I am alone to print and ship copies one by one manually it will take a lot of time I suggest you start selling your edition."
So Jamie and I figure it's time. However, we don't want to spoil anything for the KS backers, who after all are the reason this book even exists, so we're inviting any backer who strongly objects to the paperbacks being released to get in touch. Leave a comment below or, if you're concerned about provoking a pitchfork-wielding mob, our contact details are there in the sidebar.

If we don't get any vetoes, we'll press ahead with publication by mid-February. Sound fair?

Friday, 19 January 2018

A rare personal appearance


If I was a little more au fait with audio tech then I'd probably do podcasts rather than a blog. After a day spent writing, a blog post is often the last thing I feel like buckling down to. And podcasts are a natural fit for me anyway; I much prefer talking to writing, as anyone who's sat at a table with me and some wine bottles can attest.

My appetite for podcasting whetted by the Fictoplasm special about Lyonesse, I welcomed an invitation from the good folks at the Tekumel Foundation to appear on the Hall of Blue Illumination. We talked about my early roleplaying experiences, about various game systems, a little bit about Fabled Lands, the design choices in Tirikelu, and of course extensively about MAR Barker's amazing creation, Tekumel.

You can download or listen to it here.

Friday, 12 January 2018

Lost in the wildwood

Last year Gary Chalk called me up to talk about collaborating on a graphic novel. How that came about was that Gary, who lives in France, had been at the supermarket a few days before and he ran into an elderly woman he knew who said, “Why aren’t you at Saint-Malo, Monsieur Chalk? I thought every artist went? Even my grandson took his portfolio.”

Saint-Malo is the venue for one of France’s biggest comics conventions – bande dessinée, I should say –and Gary’s immediate reaction was to rush home, dump his groceries on the kitchen table, grab a few art samples, and drive to Saint-Malo that afternoon.

“Quite a few publishers said they’d take a look at anything I have to show them,” he told me. “So how about it? Do you want to write something and I’ll draw it?”

Did I? You’d have to hold me back with an electric prod. Gary is a fun guy to bounce ideas around with, his artwork is uniquely captivating and gloriously inventive, and I enjoy writing for comics more than just about any other medium.

After some brainstorming over Skype, I went back to Gary with a proposal for Jewelspider – a series of bande dessinée books set in Legend, the Dragon Warriors universe, some five hundred years after DW. Think Down Among the Dead Men’s Tudor world of magic and faerie and you’re not far off. I figured that the combination of flintlocks, faerie woods, rude mechanicals, half-timbered cottages and horror would suit Gary’s style to a T. Here's the overview:


A country a little like Elizabethan England. OK, a lot like. Only there is real magic and there are faerie folk. The heartless sort of faerie folk whose whims make a cat seem compassionate.

Twenty-five years ago at the village of Crossgate, a peasant woman called Mary Barley finds a child lying in the snow near the edge of Jewelspider Forest.

At the same time, the stillborn baby of Sir Roger and Lady Olivia Keppel, whose body was lying in Crossgate Church, is found to have been taken. The locals suspect the “ladies and gentlemen” of the woods, but the priest doesn’t want to hear that. When Mary shows up carrying a baby, he claims that it’s the Keppels’ child, who was only mistaken for dead. “A fox must have dragged him off, and the shock brought him round,” he says. “A miracle! Praise be!”

So the baby is raised as Lady Olivia’s second son, Pelagius. But the rumours of faerie origin persist and the child is undeniably strange. Soon Lady Olivia wants him gone from the manor. He’s given to Mary, who discards the name Pelagius and raises him as plain John Barley.

The years pass. “Gentleman” John Barley is an up-and-coming playwright with the Publican’s Players. As New Year approaches, the Players set out to perform a special play for the Earl of Netherford which they hope will earn them patronage. “We’ll soon be the Earl’s Players,” reckons the company’s manager, Francis Barnsbury.

On the way to Netherford, Francis has seen the opportunity to put on a Christmas play in Crossgate, not realizing that it’s John’s home village. John is not keen to go back. They arrive to find the village troubled by the disappearance of John’s one-time stepbrother Peregrine Keppel.

Before long, and very much against his will, John is investigating what happened to Peregrine and uncovering a macabre tale involving “Mad Dan” Duluth, the squire of the manor a hundred years before. Mad Dan and his henchmen, known as his three knaves, so terrorized the county that they are used to this day as bugbears to scare children. But John begins to suspect that, though dead and buried, Mad Dan and his knaves don’t rest as quietly as they should.

Before the curse can be lifted and the ghosts laid to rest, John will have visited the court of Faerie where he finally learns who his real parents were.

No doubt you will have spotted that the plot borrows from the scenario “Silent Night” which I ran on this blog one Christmas and which I later intended to use as the basis for an interactive story app. Only, this being fiction rather than a game or gamebook, that wasn’t what the story was really about. What interested me most was the Shakespearean career of John Barley, and how being a changeling gave him a special relationship with the world of the imaginary. Some deconstruction of the storytelling process itself seemed likely to feature.

Just as Will Shakespeare liked to mix comedy and high drama – the Joss Whedon of his day – I set out to create a similar blend. Horror on its own bores me; it’s too one-note. Humour helps to add the human dimension that makes the horrific elements more disturbing. And in regard to storytelling I always use disturbing in a good sense, of course.

That’s where Gary and I didn’t see eye to eye. So don’t get excited, because (as I maybe should have said at the start) this collaboration is never going to come to pass. Gary hates that whole Joss Whedon vibe, you see, and he felt the comedy elements I’d included, particularly with my Will Kemp like character Pip Cabbage, destroyed the suspension of disbelief.

Well, not every project comes off and that’s a hard truth you just have to get used to as a writer. Because the writing happens before everything else, you end up with an awful lot of abandoned fragments of development work. Jamie and I have got whole TV scripts and samples of novels that fell on stony ground and now languish in the attic or the far unvisited corners of our hard drives. I briefly toyed with finding another artist to work with, but it’s already a struggle finding the funds to pay Leo and Nikos to work on Mirabilis. I don’t really need another comic book to finance!

So here is that unfinished script. Too jokey? Or a fine blend of the humorous and the macabre? I leave it to you to decide…
Jewelspider Wood book one



PAGE 1

PANEL 1a:
A big panel, this, maybe top two-thirds of the page. Nice establishing shot.

Caption:  Then.

A snow-covered landscape, late afternoon. In the left foreground we see thickly clustered trees – the edge of Jewelspider Wood. From there the land slopes down to a valley where the village of Crossgate stands in the middle distance beside a river: cottages, church and manor house. Smoke rising from the chimneys. Beyond, the hills sweep up again into the distance.

A peasant woman, MARY, is trudging up the hill in the foreground carrying a basket. Mary is in early middle age, which for the times and given her social class might mean her mid-30s. It’s bitterly cold – see her breath steam out on the wind.

Behind her, further down the slope, three peasant lads are chucking snowballs at each other.

PANEL 1b:
Reverse previous shot, so we’re looking up the slope with the three lads in the foreground. Mary is a tiny figure approaching the edge of the forest.

Lad #1: Bet a farthing you won’t go twenty paces into Jewelspider.

Lad #2: Nearly suppertime. I would else.

PANEL 1c:
Mary looking down sadly at her basket, which contains just a few twigs. She needs more firewood.

PANEL 1d:
View from behind Mary as she faces the immense, dark and forbidding wall of trees that marks the edge of the woods. We can sense that she feels daunted by it.

PAGE 2

PANEL 2a:
Mary has ventured a little way into the wood. Here under the trees there’s less snow – just what the wind has blown in, edging the dead leaves.
She’s stooping to pick up a bit of firewood, but looking all around nervously as she does so.

PANEL 2b:
CU on Mary, startled as she turns towards the sound.

Sound effect: SNAP!

PANEL 2c:
Mary looks down to see some broken twigs laid on the ground in the shape of a pointing arrow. It points back out of the woods.

PANEL 2d:
Mary reacting to the sound of a baby crying out-of-shot (sound effect cutting off at edge of frame?) in the direction the arrow points to. Her hand to her mouth. Fear forgotten now – she’s only concerned for that lost baby.

Sound effect: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Right behind her in the dark undergrowth – she’s not aware of them - are dozens of cat-like eyes and grinning fanged mouths. The faerie folk.

PANEL 2e:
A faerie POV shot – we’re looking out from between the trees as Mary runs down the slope away from Jewelspider Wood.

Sound effect: WAAAAAAA

PANEL 2f:
In a hollow in the snow, Mary comes across a baby (in right f.g.) lying on a blanket. She drops her basket in shock.

Mary: Oh, Heaven and all the saints!

Baby: Waaaaaaaa!

PAGE 3

PANEL 3a:
New scene -- Outside the small village church in Crossgate. FATHER GULES (Patrick Magee; about 30 yrs old in this flashback) is berating the SEXTON. By the way this is the equivalent of roughly 1565 AD.

The church door is open and there’s an infant’s coffin lying on the path between them, on its side, lid off.

A small group of less than a dozen peasants has gathered to see what all the fuss is about.

Father Gules (gesturing at the door): Obviously you left it open. A wild animal --

Sexton (deferential but aggrieved): Wild animal? In Crossgate, Father? And I double-bolted it, I swear to that.

PANEL 3b:
At the back of the crowd of onlookers, ROD arrives. He’s a 12-year-old with a shock of unruly red hair (which we will recognize immediately when we return here in 25 years’ time). He tugs the sleeve of a woman, who looks round.

Rod: What is it, Ma?

Rod’s Mum: The lady’s stillborn infant. Laid out in the church, poor mite, and something stole the body.

PANEL 3c:
Back to the argument by the church door. Now Father Gules and the sexton have both rounded on OLD ABE, the gravedigger.

Sexton: The child should’ve been buried by now, anyway.

Old Abe: You take a pickaxe to this ground if you want. Like iron it is.

PANEL 3d:
Father Gules turns to the small crowd of onlookers, one of whom is pointing up towards the woods.

Peasant: You know what’s took it. No wolf.

Father Gules: Enough of that talk! And none of you breathe a word of this up at the hall. If the lady –

Father Gules pauses in surprise at the sound of a baby crying from the back of the crowd.

Sound effect: Waaaa

PANEL 3e:
The crowd parts to reveal Mary standing at the back. In her basket she’s cradling the child she found.

Baby: Waaaaa!

Father Gules: Mary Barley. Where did you get that child?

Mary: Found him, Father. Up by Jewelspider Wood.

PANEL 3f:
Father Gules lifts the blanket to look at the baby.

Father Gules: It is a miracle. You have found Lady Olivia’s baby son – and he lives! Give thanks to God.

PANEL 3g:
On Mary’s horrified expression as the basket with the baby is taken from her.

Mary: No. He’s not hers. Hers was dead. I found him!
(new bubble): No! NO!

PAGE 4

PANEL 4a:
Close-up on the exasperated face of “GENTLEMAN” JOHN BARLEY, mid-20s.

John: No no no no NO!
(new bubble): Feeling! Give it some FEELING!

PANEL 4b:
A large function room over a pub, where the Publican’s Players are rehearsing. This is the equivalent of ~1590 AD. John and Francis have copies of the script.

It’s not a dress rehearsal – they’re in regular clothes, though DOUGAL GRATE (late-50s, old thesp, wild-haired Michael Gambon type), who is playing King Solomon, wears a crown and carries a sword. He ought to wear spectacles but he’s too vain, so he makes do with a squint.

FRANCIS BARNSBURY (late-30s, George Sanders type) is the company’s manager and pitches in playing bit parts as needed.

RICHIE BIGG (late-20s, Randy Quaid type) is a lumbering, easy-going hulk of a man who ought to be a bouncer rather than playing one of the women whose case has been brought to King Solomon. He’s the object of John’s ire.

PIP CABBAGE (mid-20s, a young Jeremy Piven) is playing the other woman. He’s the company’s clown, one of those guys who can’t go one minute without turning everything into a joke.

Caption: Now.

Richie: Sorry, John.

Francis (looking at the script): Can’t we simplify it a bit, love? All this “my son” and “thy son”... You’re going to lose the groundlings.

PANEL 4c:
Pip pours himself a flagon of ale.

Pip: “Whoreson”, now that’d get a laugh.

John is impatient – he wants to get on with rehearsal. It’s not a play he’s especially keen to do, either, so Pip’s insouciance is doubly annoying.

John: Not everything has to be about getting a frigging laugh, Pip!

PANEL 4d:
John grabs the tatty rag doll that they’re using as a prop and holds it up to Richie. He points to Pip, who is playing the other mother.

John: Look, Richie, the King – he’s going to cut the little perisher in half. Pip says it’s his kid. But it’s really YOURS.

Richie: I’m the father?

John: You’re the mother!

PANEL 4e:

Pip: Ha ha!

Richie (looking at Pip): I can do feminine, thank you! I’m very in touch with my lady side. I just need direction.

PAGE 5

PANEL 5a:
Richie leans close to John for a confidential chat, but Dougal is right behind them.

Richie: John, the thing is... I’ll fling myself in there, mate. Take one for the nipper, God love ‘im. But couldn’t we get Dougal a wooden sword?

Dougal: I heard that!

PANEL 5b:
Dougal draws his (real) sword and strikes a majestic pose. We see a glimpse of the sizzling brilliant actor he was ten or twenty years ago.

Dougal: What need have I of props? Gewgaws and fakery! Fifteen years I’ve trod these boards.

PANEL 5c:
Dougal swings his sword in a wild sweeping arc. He’s very short-sighted. John and Richie duck just in time to avoid having their heads cut off.

Sound fx: SWOOSH

Dougal: Precision! Focus! Control! And you propose I brandish a whittled stick? Have you no appreciation of the thespic arts?

John: What about a pair of glasses?

PANEL 5d:
Francis leads John aside, gesturing towards TIM and TAM, in the foreground, the company’s two midgets..

Francis: Glasses? John, love, next you’ll want a real gold crown.
(new bubble): If I showed you the accounts book it’d give you a bigger scare than the Welsh Play. We can’t even afford wires for the fairies to fly in on.

PANEL 5e:
Seeing themselves talked about Tim and Tam come over with their copies of the script.

Tim: It’s not like we don’t appreciate the lines, John, but we don’t always have to play elves and goblins and that. 

Tam: Yeah. We could be – you know, just little people.

PANEL 5f:
John is always considerate of everyone’s feelings:

John: Well, I –-

But Francis dives in with a frothy pep talk aimed at giving Tim and Tam the brush-off.

Francis: And you are. You are DEAR little people. But audiences today demand a faerie touch, a whiff of otherworldliness. It’s bums on benches, loves.

PAGE 6

PANEL 6a:
John looks back over his shoulder as he and Francis go out of the door.

John: Haven’t the heart to tell them they’re going to be playing cherubs.

Francis: Cherubs? In this weather? Brrr.
(new bubble): John, I’m sorry, I know the Old Testament isn’t really your thing. No scope in it for all your usual laughs and mayhem. But it’s what the Earl of Netherford expects.

PANEL 6b:
Outside. They’re going down the steps into the pub garden. It’s a cold day in early December. Not snowing. The pub is in a town but it’s morning, and whatever clientele there is hasn’t spilled out to the garden yet.

Francis is warming to his theme, arms waving. John catches the eye of a SERVING WENCH who’s putting out trestle tables.

Francis: And if we get the Earl’s patronage, the sky’s the limit.
(new bubble): Terribly nice touch getting a baby into the story, by the way. Should go down well. The Earl’s wife is broody, so I’m told.

PANEL 6c:
John helps the serving wench with a table. She smiles saucily at him. Francis doesn’t even notice as he goes to sit at another table.

John: Just as long as it wasn’t Moses being found among the rushes. That would’ve been too close to home for me.

Francis: Ah, yes. Your mysterious orphan past. I know better than to pry.
(new bubble): Not too scary with that Solomon scene, though, eh? Don’t want the ladies fainting, do we. Unless it’s for love.

PANEL 6e:
Francis, still not noticing the flirting going on, is pouring a beer from the pitcher on the table.

Winking, John leans over the table to steal a kiss. The serving wench looks like she’s going to respond. No doubt John is thinking of her as he says:

John: Wait till you see the Queen of Sheba’s dance. Should be a real show-stopper.
(new bubble): Mind you, it’ll be Richie in a dress, so that’ll take the edge off.

Francis: Oh, I meant to say, you will get a chance to stage one of your gutsier plays after all. I’ve booked us a performance on the way to Netherford. Just a manor house gig to earn a few crowns.

PANEL 6f:
John jerks his head round to look at Francis, who is holding out a flagon for him. The serving wench is left kissing empty air, lips still puckered but eyes wide in surprise.

John (pensive): Netherford..?

Wench: !

Francis: Yes. Rural folk, you know. They’ll appreciate the Gentleman John Barley touch. I thought “The Death of Pompey”. We’ll use the wax head from “King Herod”.

PANEL 6g:
Extreme close up on John’s expression of shock and dismay.

Francis (out of shot): Crossgate Manor, it’s called.
(new bubble): Ever heard of it?