Mummers' games

As later Dragon Warriors books were released and we began to introduce creatures that were less familiar from folklore and fantasy fiction, I liked to include adventure seeds in the description as a guide to how to use them. Some have found the Blue Men silly, for example, but my excuse is that if a bit of wackiness has your players giggling then the cold grue that follows will be all the more chilling.

Blue Men

By night in the sailors' taverns of many a port, with salt spray lashing the windowpanes, one may hear old adventurers in their cups whispering seafarers' tales. Sometimes the talk is of the Blue Men, who plough through the cold northern seas in their dragon-prowed warships, and plunder riches and souls from the living.

They come out of churning grey waves with the gnawing icy gale of an approaching storm billowing out their sail. A pallid flare of phosphorescence limns the rotted timbers of their vessel - an ancient, barnacle-encrusted hulk, waterlogged and impossibly afloat, like a grim wreck that has been raised by sorcery from the ocean depths. The grisly mariners of this ship stand silent on her creaking decks, blankly observing the terror-struck faces of their human prey. Chilled to the marrow of their bones by a cold no earthly fire could dispel, they possess the hunger of the dead for the living. Their flesh is shivery blue and their long beards are tangled with kelp, and in his hand each grips a cutlass of brine-corroded bronze. 

The Blue Men hold a course alongside the chosen ship, whereupon it is soon clear that they cannot be outrun or evaded no matter what the steersman's skill. Standing by the fierce prow, the Blue Men's chieftain addresses his prey. In a voice like thunder he calls out couplets of verse that describe the terrible fate that shall be meted out to them, but if a spokesman from among the adventurers can immediately reply with a rhyming couplet refuting his words then the Blue Men will be temporarily balked from attacking. So the chieftain might say: 

'Our prow shall split your ship like kindling,
Your own bright blood shall wash the decks.' 

And be countered by: 

'We have no fear of cold blue dead men
Blustering from their sodden wrecks.' 

The adventurers then get the opportunity for a riposte, which the chieftain must likewise deny in rhyme. The contest of verse continues until one side falters or is forced to make an unconvincing or clumsy rejoinder. If the chieftain wins, his Blue Men board the adventurers' ship and fight like demons, untouched by lesser sorcery and all but impervious to wounds. They may be driven back if the adventurers manage to inflict more than 25% casualties, returning to their own vessel which then sinks rapidly below the waves. Any character they slew will be beyond resurrection - his soul taken down with them to the depths, as the legends have it. If the rhyming contest is won by the adventurers' spokesman, the Blue Men will depart at once. 

Hardy adventurers will perhaps refuse to play the Blue Men's game. Ignoring the verse, they may attempt to take the battle on to the planks of the dragon-ship. The Blue Men will respond by lowering the vessel below the waves, and each adventurer who boarded them must roll under his Reflexes on 2d20 or be sucked down with them. The chieftain will hurl a final weird upon those who survive: their vessel will lie becalmed and stricken by plague unless every adventurer aboard can resist his MAGICAL ATTACK of 16. (In game terms, the effect of the weird is to leave the vessel becalmed for 3-30 days, during which time careful check must be kept on rations and supplies of fresh water. The adventurers are exposed to 1-3 random diseases each day the weird lasts.) 

ATTACK 23         Sword (d8 + 2, 6)
DEFENCE 10         Armour Factor 1 (take half-damage from arrows, slingshot, etc)
MAGICAL DEFENCE 8 (but immune to Sorcerer spells of lst-4th level)
EVASION 6         Movement: 10m (20m)
Health Points 1d6 + 16         Rank-equivalent: 7th

Fast-forward thirty-four years and we were in lockdown. One of our gaming group, Dr Aaron Fortune, volunteered to run a traditional Yule adventure featuring the Company of Bronze mercenary characters (later to become known as the Iron Men) whom I've mentioned before. This was on Discord, naturally. Oliver and I missed the opening session but Aaron ran a side quest for the two of us that led into the main adventure. Oliver was playing Whirrun, aka 'Cracknut', who apparently was based on a book he'd published, and I was Calidore of Warens Field, aka 'Caliburn'. This is Caliburn's account of the session, but it's also a description of the macabre Mummers that Aaron had dreamt up:

The Adoration of the Magi

We meet Sir Wulfstan in a tavern outside Cantorbridge. He’s not really a knight, he’s a member of the Company. ‘Here’s your pay,’ he says. ‘You’re to come with me to the cathedral.’ He says a lot of other stuff too but now the sun’s gone down and we’re drinking. It’s Advent, you see, so fasting all day.

Next day at the cathedral, Wulfstan says we’re to escort Sir Joffe (who is a real knight) on a trip. ‘First you’ve got an audience with Subdeacon Elfwine.’

‘Why?’

‘Just listen to what he says.’

So we go in and this young priest tells us about factions in the Church and what his faction stands for and how there are rumours of the End of Days and that. After a bit I can’t hold my tongue. ‘Is there anyone you want killed, your holiness?’

‘Eh? No. There’s a relic at a hermitage up the coast. The hermits have been reluctant to part with it but now they’ve agreed. Go with Sir Joffe and bring it back in time for Christmas. Now, if Sir Joffe gives you orders then – ’

‘He’s not a member of our Company. We take our orders from Wulfstan.’

‘Well, pretend. I don’t want Sir Joffe to suspect.’

Suspect what, I wonder, but I don’t say anything because Church business is not Company business.

Wulfstan finds me and Cracknut and Portus. ‘It’s up the coast a ways. You’ll get another pay packet when we’re back. Also the best food and lodging, and horses all along the route.’

This sounds like when somebody is setting you up as a patsy but we don’t say anything. I put Coronach in the stables here in town because I gather we’ll be riding post up the road and I don’t want to wear him out.

Off we trot, with Sir Joffe and his five Chaubrettian guards, and a few days later we come to an island that you can ride to at low tide. Here the three hermits live, in conditions my granny would call squalid. Filthy wretches they are, claiming to be holy and that. ‘Where’s my relic?’ says Sir Joffe.

The shiftiest of the hermits, who I notice from his bloody shirt has been whipping himself, pushes back the altar and hands us an old box with three crisp new lead seals on it. Funny, I think, but I’m not paid to think so I keep quiet.

Off we go along the coastal road back to Cantorbridge. There’s a foul smell off the sea and some ominous looking ships, but the world is supposed to end soon so it’s not too surprising. Also, it’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good, and being in a mercenary company you tend to welcome bad omens.

After a bit Joffe discovers that what I handed him wasn’t the relic but a packed lunch wrapped in an oil cloth. He starts moaning that we’ve been robbed, but then I hand him the real box and he’s so happy he gives me a crown, which is five shillings or a considerable number of farthings.

Pretty soon Sir Joffe is whipping the horses so that two of them go lame. What an idiot. Then Gilbert, who is in the Company, rides up to meet us near Langdip. ‘Give me your horse,’ says Sir Joffe to Cracknut.

‘Good idea,’ says Wulfstan. ‘You three hand over your horses. Go down that track there and you’ll find the home of Mistress Godwina. She’ll give you fresh horses for the lame ones. We’ll ride on to the next coaching inn and you can catch us up.’

Now, this all seems entirely too convenient for anyone thinking to shake us off. Only two horses are lame, but Wulfstan is trying to get rid of me too. Is he up to no good?

‘Cracknut and Portus can do that,’ I point out, ‘and I’ll come with you.’

‘You stay too!’ says Wulfstan, a bit agitated now.

‘Uh-uh. I’m sticking to you like one of Joe’s turds after a big cheese dinner.’

‘I’ll see you sacked from the Company,’ he says.

‘Try it. I’ll answer to Pieter de Fleur.’

So he rides on with me right behind him. We’ll see what that was all about later.

Cracknut and Portus have barely seen us off down the road when they hear a horse whinny, and turn and see a young bloke that gives his name as 'Prince' Aengus. ‘Have a lucky rabbit’s foot,’ he says to Cracknut. ‘It will help you win a dice game against the Mummers. In fact, it will mean you always win.’

‘What you want for it?’ says Cracknut, who is no fool.

‘Nothing. I give it to you freely. And now I ride off.’

As it’s getting dark they go down the lane Wulfstan pointed out and there’s an old house, reasonably grand with a porch and that. They’re welcomed by Mistress Godwina, an old bird who lays out a good spread. She’s a friend of Wulstan, who is even more long in the tooth than Portus so might conceivably have had a thing with this crone at some stage in the past.

‘What about these Mummers we keep hearing about?’ says Cracknut, gnawing a chicken leg.

‘Oh, they’re terrible bad sorts. Devils, some say, or bad fairies. They live in a ruined chapel in the woods and at this time of year they come to the door when people have had a baby, and they shake dice, and when they win they take the baby away.’

‘What if they lose?’ asks Portus.

‘They use weighted dice – or so the rumour goes – so they rarely lose. And if people don’t give them what they want, they kill everyone in the house most horribly. Blood and guts everywhere.’

I guess Cracknut and Portus look sheepish at that, as they are not known themselves for over-daintiness or mopping up people’s guts after they’ve done a killing, but they tuck in and soon forget it.

Meanwhile I’m at the coaching inn and Wulfstan is distraught. He takes me aside and shows me inside the box. There’s no relic, just a velvet cushion which has got exactly as tatty as you’d expect after a few centuries under an altar stone. It looks like there used to be a mask in the box, and as it’s a relic of St Lucinda I can guess what bit of her that was.

‘Where is it?’

He shakes his head. ‘The box was empty.’

‘Oh. That’ll be why that hermit was so shifty, then. And why the lead seals look new.’

‘You go back and get the others,’ says Wulfstan. ‘Better get back to the hermitage and – ’

‘Say no more. Acquire the relic by any means necessary.’

Now it’s a good job I tagged along, and I bet he doesn’t go bad-mouthing me to Pieter de Fleur after all. But as I ride back I’m wondering why he was so keen to get rid of all three of us. He’d have been well stuffed if I hadn’t insisted – unless, that is, he pinched the relic himself and this is a wild goose chase.

As it happens, roast goose is on the table when I get to Mistress Godwina’s place. I tell the others what’s going down. Luckily Mistress Godwina tells me the story of the Mummers, because Portus and Cracknut are sitting gaping at the food like a couple of flounders on a fishmonger’s slab.

‘Well, it’s clear to me what’s happened here,’ I say. ‘Shifty the Hermit gambled the relic away to the Mummers. Guilty conscience, that’s why he’s been whipping himself. We’ll have to get it back off them.’

‘They might turn up at the house of Leofstan and Hild,’ says Godwina. ‘She had a baby yesterday.’

Sigh. We grab our stuff. ‘We’ll have to get over there and deal with these Mummers.’

‘They’re very dangerous,’ says Godwina. ‘Monsters, really.’

‘Only way to get the relic.’

As we’re riding over, Cracknut mentions the rabbit’s foot. ‘Handy,’ I say. ‘You can gamble against the Mummers for the relic.’

‘No, I want a Yule present for my wife.’

‘Give her the rabbit’s foot,’ says Portus.

‘But don’t we need it against the Mummers?’

‘Look,’ I say to Cracknut. ‘Win the relic first, save the baby, then afterwards you can give the rabbit’s foot to Lady Misery. Sorry, Maisery*.’

The house is down by the shore and it’s quite a hovel really. Poor folks, this couple, but they let us in and seem to believe our story. I suppose they’ve been quaking there expecting the Mummers and we’re a ray of hope.

So we wait, and at midnight there’s a knocking at the door. I open it to find thirteen cowled figures in masks going, ‘Mmm, mmm, mmm.’

‘In you come.’ I’ve got my hand on my sword but they’re all armed and there are thirteen of them. It’s a tight squeeze inside the cottage. The leader goes up to Cracknut, who is sitting at the table. He points at the baby, then he slams down his dice cup.

‘Hang on,’ I say. ‘If you lose we want the face of St Lucinda, which is the relic from the hermitage.’

‘I think I must name you,’ says Cracknut, and he goes on to say they’re all called Death.

They don’t unmask, so maybe that’s wrong. The leader gestures impatiently at the cup. ‘Mmm.’

So Cracknut rolls and the Mummer rolls and, thanks to the rabbit’s foot, Cracknut wins. The Mummers don’t take it well. They start up a horrible shrieking and the leader whips off his mask to show a leathery yellow face with the mouth stitched shut, and he shrieks so much a few of the stitches break and a bit of black spittle rolls down his chin. I’m very glad that nothing scares me, and I’m surprised that Cracknut and Portus don’t lose their dinner at this point.

Anyway, the Mummers have lost so they give us the relic and piss off. The relic is, as I thought, St Lucinda’s face, cured and mounted on a jewelled stick like a posh bird’s mask at a ball.

‘I reckon she was ashamed of how often she got propositioned because of her beauty,’ I say, struck by sudden inspiration. ‘Holy people hate fucking. So she cut her own face off because being holy can make you do things like that.’

The baby was crying. We went and had a look, and Hild agreed to call him Whirrun as that’s Cracknut’s real name. I looked through the mask’s eyes at him and announced he’d have health, happiness and prosperity. But I’m not sure that blessing worked, coming from me, even though it was a relic, so I also left a shilling on the mantelpiece.

We’re riding back when Cracknut says he thinks there’s something up with the road, and sure enough it seems we’re somehow lost in a wood. Well, it is after midnight now. I take out the relic and look through its eyes and now I can see the true path as a clean gleaming trail, which leads to a warm light beyond the trees, but behind us are the Mummers and they have a cold, blue-white glow to them that’s somehow menacing.

We follow the true path and it brings us to Mistress Godwina’s place, and the warm light is shining from her. The Mummers stay lurking back there in the woods, not liking to come near. Bastards. Bad enough that they use weighted dice or magic or whatever, but to be sore losers too. I’m tempted to go out and kill them all to teach them a lesson, but it is pitch dark and it’d be thirteen to one, so maybe not tonight.

We have some mince pies and ale, then we take turns sitting up through the night, and every now and then there’s a soft thump of something hitting the door, and when we’ve had breakfast and we go outside we find three dead rabbits in the porch with their front paw cut off, that the Mummers threw against the house.

We ride on, making a good pace, and by close to midnight on Christmas Eve we catch up to Wulfstan and the Chaubrette geezers. No sign of Joffe, he’s ridden on to present the relic – well, the empty box, as he’ll find out.

We’re approaching Cantorbridge and we hear the bells ringing midnight. ‘Happy Christmas, lads,’ I say, and at that moment White Light** appears in the north like a candle that’s been lit. Or more like a thousand candles. But it doesn’t last long and then it goes out. It makes me think of that star and our Saviour with the Magi that came and did the spells on the manger or whatever. Bet they didn’t leave a shilling. Stingy sods, Krarthians***.

* Cracknut had been wed in an earlier adventure to a lady of possibly fay origin called Maisery.

** One of the so-called Ghosts of the Magi (in common parlance) or, according to official Church teaching, the Pentaphan -- five celestial bodies that appear from time to time in the northern skies.

*** Caliburn is confusing the Magi who attended the Saviour's birth, who were almost certainly from Opalar, Batubatan and Zinj, with the rulers of Krarth.

There are plenty of interesting ways to use mummers in a Legend game. You don't even have to bring in magic or horror. Those masks are perfect for concealing one's identity -- a spy, a thief, a former foe seeking revenge, a proscribed lover sneaking in to see his beloved, an outlaw coming to free his comrade from the castle dungeon. But Aaron's Mummers are actual monsters, fay or undead or diabolic, so let's consider them in terms of the DW rules.

First, Cracknut seems to think that if he can name them they will be robbed of power over him. That makes sense, especially for beings wearing masks, and traditionally you get three guesses too. But there are thirteen of the Mummers, so it won't be as easy as dealing with Rumpelstiltskin. If you're going to let your players discover all the names I think it's fair enough to ask them to memorize them, not read them off a piece of paper. Oh, come on, not every adventure can spoon-feed the adventurers their successes.

But what if the Mummers aren't named? They offer a game with rules -- which is typical of the fays, however they may twist those rules. They roll the dice. If you win, they must depart. If you lose they will take the child they've come for, or something equally precious in its stead -- unless you can outwit them. Think on your feet. 'Do we roll for the one who was born tonight?' could mean the foal in the stable. Pointing to the cradle and saying, 'The winner takes what lies there' could indicate the cat, not the baby who you cleverly hid elsewhere when you heard them knocking at the door.

If they win the game and you haven't managed to outwit them, then it's a fight. A bloodbath, perhaps. They should be more than a match for any normal group of fighting men. You'll scale them to the strength of your PCs, but here I'm assuming they are equal in rank-equivalent to the strongest member of the party.

ATTACK 22         Shortsword (d8 + 1, 4)
DEFENCE 12         Armour Factor 2 (unaffected by nonmagical weapons until the dice game has been played)
MAGICAL DEFENCE 15 
EVASION 7         Movement: 15m (30m)
PERCEPTION 14
Health Points 2d6 + 10         Rank-equivalent: 8th

Things from another world

Now that we’re just past midsummer, up here in the northern hemisphere anyway, how about an Antarctic horror to cool the blood? I came across this piece (which uses Runequest stats, but should be easy to adapt) in White Dwarf #48 while rooting out “The Lone and Level Sands” scenario. I was inspired by John Carpenter’s movie The Thing, obviously, but the timing seems off. The Thing was released in the UK in the summer of ’82, this appeared in White Dwarf in December 1983. Maybe I watched it on home video, then a technology in its early stages, but as I’m such a stickler for the cinematic experience – and was a fan of John Carpenter’s work – that’s a little unlikely. Another mystery whose answer is lost in the murk of memory.

I based my version of the creature on one interpretation of what’s going on in the movie. In the original 1938 short story by John W Campbell it works a bit differently, devouring and imitating prey rather than infecting them. Take your pick. In the absence of a name for the species I called my version the "jesmai", probably as a riposte to Jamie (who edited WD) for insisting that I give it a name at all. But all Campbell tells us is that it is

These creatures are usually encountered in remote territories – arctic climes, lonely heaths, or high mountain peaks. They can appear to be normal humans (or other animals) and are always encountered singly, often passing as hermits or trappers.

When attacking they grapple their opponent and then, if successful, lash out with a razor sharp proboscis hidden at the back of the creature's throat. Damage done by the proboscis is determined solely for the purpose of puncturing armour – the victim takes no actual damage as the proboscis only penetrates a centimetre or so, but a venom with potency equal to the Jasmai's CON is injected.

If the venom overcomes the victim's CON they black out and must roll CON as a percentage to come round. This roll is attempted at the end of each round until the character recovers. After recovering, the character experiences no ill effects from the venom for 2d6 days, whereupon they will suddenly lapse into a terrible fever characterized by alternating bouts of sweating and uncontrollable shivering. At this point the character can still be cured with a Dispel Magic 8, but if the fever is allowed to progress then the character lapses into a coma within 1d4 hours and then loses their own identity as they transform into an exact duplicate of the creature that infected them. The transformation takes one hour and can be reversed only with Divine Intervention.

At the end of the transformation the character will have all the skills, memories and motivations of the original creature. The character's own soul/ identity has been destroyed.

The creatures can be distinguished from humans when cut. Instead of bleeding they exude a greenish sap, and the inside of the body is a homogeneous pulp without bones or organs. They take 1d3 CON damage per full turn for every 10° Celsius above freezing.

Positively the last RuneRites

If you were a fan of the RuneRites column in White Dwarf thirty-five years ago - indeed, if you were even born then - here's a very late addition to the files. I had this lined up to run alongside Oliver's "Wrecker Island" scenario for Questworld. But then Questworld fell through, Games Workshop stopped pushing Runequest, and RuneRites got shifted back to bimonthly. Since the scenario was never used in WD, neither was this column, although the former later appeared in Dragon Warriors book 3: The Elven Crystals. It had changed quite a bit - the original scenario was set in tropical seas, the DW version was rainswept and wintry - and the RQ monster stats here were never needed. So, for the RQ completists out there...

RuneRites: RICH AND STRANGE

A selection of sea creatures

By Oliver Johnson

When adventuring in a marine setting, be sure you are familiar with the drowning rules (Runequest Appendix E). Also, Borderlands explains how difficult it is for humans and other air-breathers to fight underwater: Air-breathers don’t get their damage bonus underwater. Except for metal-strung crossbows, missile weapons cannot be used. Armour reduces combat skills by 5% per ENC point unless specially designed for use underwater. Attack chances (except for thrusting weapons) are halved after making the ENC reduction. So if the drowning don’t get you the monsters sure will! Talk about being caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. -- DM

Barnacle men

These undead creatures come up from the ocean depths during storms and cling to the hulls of ships and coral reefs. Their bodies are completely covered with barnacles, and anyone succeeding in hacking one apart will find only a calcified white skeleton beneath this near impervious layer. Using their massive strength, barnacle men break through the bottom of ships to search the holds for jewels. If there is no plunder to be had, they will then stalk the ship terrorizing its crew. Barnacle men are frequently found with stolen precious stones embedded in their shell covering; assume a 20% chance of 1-8 gems.

Folklore: If you wander round the bars and taverns of Deliverance, you will find many an old salt with tales to tell of barnacle men, but few who can claim to have actually seen one. The popular belief among sailors is that these creatures are the liches of pirates so rapacious and malign that they cannot rest in death, but rise up from their sunken ships to torment the living. Most sailors know that disruption is a good way to deal with barnacle men.

Giant electric eel

Any character who hits an eel suffers an electric shock. This is resolved as a 2d8 attack to CON, like a systemic poison attack except that the lost CON recovers at the rate of 1 point per full turn. Additionally, a character receiving an electric shock is reduced 1d6 points in STR for two minutes.

Dead men’s sighs

Said to be the dying breath of sailors killed on rocks and reefs, these blue, wraith-like spirits appear at dusk and dawn, drifting out of the waves to attack the unwary. Normal weapons (even Runic metals) will not harm them, but any magical damage immediately disperses them like mist. They attack by closing with their opponent and matching POW vs POW. If the sigh wins, the victim takes 2d3 damage (a chilling numbness) directly to a random location, and the sigh then dissipates.

Stingray

Rays will always attempt to avoid melee, and will only fight if cornered or attacked in the lair. Rays should be treated as though they have shimmer 2 at all times. This is not a spell-effect, but instead derives from the ray’s camouflage ability to fan up an obscuring cloud of fine sand from the sea bed when threatened.

Giant clam
You encounter a clam by stepping onto it, so any encounter must be checked against the character’s Spot Hidden. A character trapped by a clam takes 2d6 on the first round, then 3d6 on the next, and so on. The damage does not go on increasing after the sixth round. Armour will protect until it is crushed. Clams can be forced open by combined STR equal to the clam’s own STR (4d6+8) – if a character can improvise a lever of some kind he gets a 50% STR bonus.
.
Sharks

Sharks vary quite a bit in size and ferocity. The sort described here average about 2.3m in length, and are well known to the sailors who ply the southern seas to trade in Gradisti. Sharks will attack anyone who is bleeding or thrashing about, and such is the terror that these creatures instil that I suggest an MDFx5 roll is required for any character who spots them while in the water. If the character fails this roll, he or she panics and cannot help shouting and struggling. If a shark’s tail is reduced to 0 hit points it will start to “drown” as sharks must move forward to breathe. Reducing its head to 0 hit points will halve its Attack chance but the shark will fight on for 2-6 rounds before dying.

Hungry Morguss
Hungry Morguss is a legend among sailors, a monster of folklore spoken of by those who have somehow survived when their ships went down in maelstroms or violent storms. Such mariners will sometimes whisper of having looked down into the ocean’s depths at the moment of disaster and seeing in the waters below a huge, mad, staring face with a gaping mouth, bigger than three large ships, sucking the doomed vessel down in a whirlpool. This evil visage is believed by sailors to be Hungry Morguss, a marine aspect of the devil. We may speculate at leisure as to other explanations. The face of Death himself? A monster, demon or forgotten god from Questworld’s antiquity? A mere phantasm created in the mind of sailors when disaster is imminent? How shall the truth be known?

Monster hunt, part 2

Here’s the second half of this distinctly mid-80s scenario. Originally Oliver and I had titled it “Cat and Mouse” but that’s before we realized quite how much of a tool for selling figurines it was intended to be. “Big Game” was much more honest about what it was -- and "Monster Hunt" not only more honest still, but in keeping with Games Workshop's tastes at the time.

We don’t generally use figurines in our own games. Sometimes we’ll break them out for a rare full-on tactical combat, but in that case we’re just as likely to use card counters. I prefer the players to imagine themselves in a real setting rather than as tin figures on a hex map. That probably accounts for why I wrote nothing more for White Dwarf after it had been uprooted and moved to Nottingham.

Well, that’s history. But now – the game’s afoot!

SPIKE ISLAND  

(download larger map here)

The characters’ job if they were employed by Altan is to capture or kill the various monsters on the island. If they have been wrecked here, their problem will probably be to find the jetty where Altan’s own boat is moored.

If they have confidence in their stealth skills, the characters may decide to split up. Less powerful characters will presumably opt instead for safety in numbers. If the characters split up it is probably best to treat their hunting like a board game (let everyone see everyone else’s moves) rather than the usual line of “you lot wait in the other room.” There is particular fun to be had here if the player characters make wagers among themselves as to who’ll get the most kills.

Movement
For convenience, movement on the overview map of the island is taken in five-minute turns. Each hex represents 60 metres. Characters get a number of movement points (WFRP: based on M score) which they expend for movement each turn:

For example, a character with M= 4, advancing at normal speed, would get 8 movement points each turn. Clear terrain costs 1 movement point to traverse, so this character could cross 8 clear terrain hexes in a turn.

Other terrain affects movement differently, as shown below:

The contours denote an increase of 20 metres, and a character who wishes to cross a contour going uphill expends +1 movement point to do so. When a contour line cuts through a hex (rather than along the hex side) a character ending their move in that hex must specify which side of the contour line they are on. Characters attacking down a slope get the advantage of higher ground. (Dragon Warriors: -1 from ATTACK of those fighting up the slope; WFRP: +10% to WS of those fighting down the slope.)

Spell duration
In Dragon Warriors this is determined by rolling d100 for each spell at the end of every five-minute turn:

Encounters
A random encounter is checked for at the end of each turn. This is done by rolling d100 for the terrain the character is in and consulting the Encounter Table. For characters on a path, reduce the roll by d10. If an encounter is indicated, roll again on d100 to see if a second creature is also there.

DW: Check for surprise on both sides by regular STEALTH v PERCEPTION rolls. Make a separate STEALTH roll for each member of the party against the highest PERCEPTION of the monsters they have encountered, and vice versa. These conditions obviously favour the monsters, who are generally going to be encountered solitarily or in groups of two or three, rather than the characters, who are likely to be a larger party. Some characters (notably assassins) may prefer to shorten the odds by splitting off from the main party and scouting alone.

A character moving cautiously (see above) moves more slowly but gets +2 to both STEALTH and PERCEPTION. If running, he or she deducts -2 from STEALTH and PERCEPTION.

WFRP: When there is an encounter, check to see if either the PCs or the monsters heard each other. Each monster has been given a Noise rating (representing the chance of the PCs hearing it) and a Listen rating (which modifies its chance of hearing them). Remember that characters don’t get any chance to hear sounds which are softer than the noise they’re making themselves. Hearing someone as they approach allows the PC or monster to attack forewarned, which gives a bonus of +20 to Initiative for one round only. Alternatively they could try to Hide, which is more difficult (test against Initiative + Cool – enemy’s Initiative) but allows them either to avoid combat or to attack with surprise from ambush.

Optimum tactics vary. There is safety in numbers, and the additional bonus that every character in the group gets a Listen roll. However, characters with Silent Move lose their advantage if they’re accompanied by people who don’t have this skill, so they might prefer to hunt alone.

AREAS OF INTEREST

Jetty
There is a small stone building here, and in any encounter except with the chimera there is a 50% chance that the creature in question will be lurking in this building. Altan’s ship, the Wave Rider, is moored here. She sits calmly despite the swell on the water, being stabilized and propelled by magic. Altan can still activate the ship’s propulsive magic despite his scrambled wits. A player-character can also try, requiring a test against the average of Intelligence and Will Power. Each character only gets one attempt. The oni and the hag have already tried and failed, so they won’t be getting off the island that way.

Woods
The swathe of woodland across the middle of the island has quickly become the favourite haunt of the fungus man (WFRP: black cap). There is a hollow log clumped with mould in which it sometimes hides, first leaving a small jewel (taken from the tower) on a twig nearby to tempt any travellers. If encountered in the log (25% chance), the first the PC(s) involved will know is when a hideous, fungus-spattered skeletal hand whips out from inside the dank log.

Stream
An unremarkable brook, except that the barghest will not cross it even though it is only a few feet deep. The water is pure, crystal clear and very refreshing.

Beach
This is where the rakshah has chosen to hang out. Its peculiar way of getting about (rolling sideways on its five radial legs) is ideal for the sand and shingle, which will slow its possible prey but allow the creature to move normally.

Tower
Formerly Altan’s home, now the residence of Annis the Spit and her accomplice, the oni. The building consists of a long hall with kitchen and living-quarters off one end. At the other end, steps wind up to the tower itself (where Altan’s books and magical paraphernalia litter the desks and floors and several chambers) and the subterranean menagerie, where the various cages now stand empty. All of the cages are enchanted so that anyone inside is powerless to either escape or harm someone beyond the bars of the cage until it is opened from outside.

If encountered here, Annis will get the oni to adopt her form so that the party will be confronted by two hags rather than one. The oni flatly refuses to douse itself in the noxious brews Annis uses as “perfume”, however, so a successful test against Intelligence allows a character to tell them apart. Characters who melee the oni will realize immediately, of course, because it is a considerably more skilful fighter than Annis.

Altan used to have two gorilla-skeletons as servants, but the oni smashed them when it cleared the tower. Characters may find fragments of the two (Altan called them Bones and Napier) still crawling around the place trying to carry out their domestic tasks.

THE MONSTERS

The following creatures are at large on the island. Unfortunately many of them are unfamiliar, with special strengths and weaknesses unknown to the PCs – and Altan is in no state to compile a list. Obviously some of these creatures are much tougher than others, so if the PCs split into groups you will need to assess experience points according to the dangers faced. A character who gains exceptional glory (bagging the chimera single-handed, for instance) will have quite a reputation once word gets around, and he should get a reward that reflects this (WFRP: and perhaps even a Fate Point).

Rakshah
ATT 24; DEF 11; strikes with 1-3 hoofs (d8+1,5) and victim is subject to enervation spell which may reduce him/her to 0 HP; AF 6 (3 v magic weapons); 30 HP; 6th rank sorcerer with 9 Magic Points; MAG ATT 20; MAG DEF 10; EV 8; move 15m (30m); STEALTH 8; PERCEPTION 12 (darksight); special abilities (usable only at night) – regenerates 1 Magic Point each round, can disguise itself as any animal or person, 20% chance of catching lightning- or fire-based attacks and sending them back at the caster, never affected by the same spell twice if cast by the same magic-user.

Appearance: A fierce, leonine face from which five legs grow radially, like the spokes of a wheel. This odd creature is usually a dark bronze colour, but tends to change in hue to blend in with its surroundings.
Special rules: A Rakshah attacks by rolling towards its victim and kicking him with three of its hoofs simultaneously. If it scores a critical hit, increase the value by +1. It also has a 20% chance of reflecting any fire- or lightning-spell back at the caster, and is never affected by the same spell twice.

Oni
ATT 22; DEF 16; strikes with sword (d8+1,5) or claws (d8,4 and energy-drain); AF 4; 21 HP; 6th rank mystic; MAG ATT 20; MAG DEF 13; EV 6; move 15m (25m), flying 50m; STEALTH 15 (+3 by day); PERCEPTION 8 (panoptical); special abilities: invisible in daylight (still casts a shadow), can disguise itself as any bipedal creature, automatic shock attack on characters up to 7th rank, breathes strong poison every 5 rounds (reduces victim’s Int by half), claws sap five experience points per blow.

Appearance: Oni vary in appearance. This one has a demonic horse head with huge, blood-red antlers. Its body is manlike, but with three clawed fingers on each hand. It wears a soiled tiger-skin loincloth, more to parody human clothing than out of any sense of modesty.
Special Rules: Breathes noxious gas every five rounds so that characters meleeing the oni must make a Poison test or permanently lose 1d10 x 4 from Initiative and Intelligence. Has 15 Magic Points and can cast all Petty Magic spells. Invisible in daylight, but still casts a shadow. Can change form to resemble any living, bipedal creature. In natural form causes fear in living creatures under ten feet tall

Annis the Spit (hag)
ATT 16; DEF 10; attacks with staff (d6,3); AF 3; 19 HP; 4th rank sorceress with 21 Magic Points; MAG ATT 18; MAG DEF 8; EV 4; move 10m (20m), flying 50m; STEALTH 13; PERCEPTION 13 (darksight); special abilities: gaze exerts a d8 fright attack which may strike her victim dumb, all characters fight her at -1, anyone striking her is subject to a disfigurement spell, anyone struck by her is exposed to the Black Death; special vulnerabilities: first rays of dawn will turn her to stone, she takes +1 damage from iron or steel weapons, loses all spellcasting powers if she eats salt; magic items: flying cauldron, love philtre, vial of smoke, evaporating potion, sands of slumber

Appearance: A hideous and obviously inhuman crone.
Psychological Traits: Like all hags, Annis is immune to psychological effects. She is mad, but has no disorders because madness is the normal state for a hag.
Special Rules: Annis is a 4th level spellcaster with 23 Magic Points and the following spells - all Petty Magic, Assault of Stones, Bewilder Foe, Cloud of Smoke, Cause Rain, Foul Air, Hedge of Thorns, Summon Swarm. Anyone striking her in combat is subject to a Curse spell (causing warts). Anyone she wounds is exposed to the Black Plague. Being in her presence causes a character to acquire 1 Insanity Point each minute from various factors including her crazed babbling, foul stench and horrible cackle.
Vulnerabilities: The first rays of dawn will turn her to stone. She takes +1 damage from iron or steel weapons. Eating salt causes her to lose all her Magic Points for a year and a day. Annis counts as a flammable target (she takes an extra 1D4 damage from fire-attacks) and if she is burned to death, all that will be left is a charred lump of rotten wood like a dead tree in the shape of a woman.
Magic Item: A flying cauldron in which she can travel through the night sky.

Automaton
ATT 26; DEF 20; strikes with sword (d8+2,6) or fist (d6+1,5); AF 5 (and shield); 36 HP; EV 6; move 10m (20m); STEALTH 15; PERCEPTION 19 (panoptical); special ability: unaffected by direct-attack spells; item: enchanted sword (factored into stats) with spells of Havoc, Nemesis, Turncoat and Sigil of Destiny – one of these can be used per day.

Appearance: A warrior of bronze fashioned a century ago by the famous artificer, Bruno Praetor of Marienburg. It looks quaintly manlike with a sculpted doublet, perpetual frown, and elegantly-styled tin moustache.
Psychological Traits: The Automaton of Marienburg does not have a human mind and so is immune to psychological effects. It displays intelligent behaviour, but many philosophers say that it only has the semblance of true thought.
Special Rules: It is possible to deactivate the Automaton by pressing the button in the centre of its chest. This requires a normal hit followed with a test against Dexterity at -25%.

Chimera
ATT 25; DEF 7; primary attack with claws (d12+1,7); secondary attack with bite (d8,7) or butt (d12,5); special attack: can breathe flux of rays (MAG ATT 25) three times a day up to 5m which can reduce one target to 1st rank for 1-16 rounds; AF 4; 31 HP; MAG DEF 14; EV 6; move 12m, flying 70m; STEALTH 8; PERCEPTION 9 (panoptical); special abilities: automatic surprise, can constrict up to two characters for 1d6 damage per round.

Special Notes: A smaller-than-average chimera, but still capable of causing fear in creatures under ten feet tall. Altan clipped its wings, so it cannot fly at the moment. Its three bite attacks are venomous (death in 1-3 rounds if victim fails a Poison test). The claws and tail-lash are not venomous.

Water Leaper
ATT 19; DEF 4; attacks by biting (d6+1,6) and teeth are poisonous; special attacks: can spit venom up to 5m with SPEED 12, can swallow opponent whole; AF 1; 40 HP; MAG DEF 11; EV 4; move 8m (12m), flying 30m; STEALTH 7; PERCEPTION 9 (darksight); special notes: shriek is a one-off killing attack (MAG ATT 20, turns victim’s bones to water), carrier of leprosy bacillus.

Appearance: A giant, limbless toad with a long tapering tail, looking something like a huge pallid-white tadpole. It lives in lakes or ponds and uses its tail to leap out at opponents, hence the name.
Special Rules: The water leaper has a shrill shriek which causes terror in anyone who hear it. Its bite is venomous, causing drowsiness on the first failed Poison test, and death on the second. It can also swallow an opponent whole; the character needs to test against Initiative to avoid this. Anyone swallowed is immediately subject to terror (naturally) and will be digested at the rate of 1d6 damage each round if not cut free. A swallowed character who does not panic will be able to cut his way out from inside as long as he has a suitable edged weapon. Anyone rescued from a Water Leaper’s belly acquires 1d6 Insanity Points.

Fungus Man (DW – for WFRP use Black Cap)
ATT 13; DEF 6; attacks with greatsword (d10,5); special attack: 10% chance each round of infecting melee opponent with spores, no immediate effect; AF 1 (3 v stabbing weapons); 24 HP; MAG DEF 6 (immune to control spells); EV 3; move 8m (15m); STEALTH 3; PERCEPTION 9 (panoptical); special ability: demoralizing whispers, opponent must fight at -2 ATT, -1 DEF if they fail to roll Psychic Talent or higher (sic) on 1d20.

Black Cap (WFRP – for DW use Fungus Man)

Appearance: A mouldering skeleton caked with fungus, slightly phosphorescent in darkness.
Psychological Traits: Like most undead, black caps are immune to psychology rules and cannot be forced to leave combat.
Special Rules: Black caps exude a cloud of sweet-smelling spores which expose anyone nearby to Tomb Rot. They cause fear in living beings. Anyone who hears their horrible whispering voices, eerily describing the delights of the grave, immediately acquires the necrophobia disorder.

Kappa septurion (DW – for WFRP use Gillman)
4th rank mystic; ATT 12; DEF 6; attacks with spear (2d4,4); AF 3; 11 HP; MAG ATT 17; MAG DEF 7; EV 3; move 10m (15m); STEALTH 11; PERCEPTION 4 (darksight).

Gillman (WFRP – for DW use Kappa)

Appearance: A powerfully muscled creature with glistening scales. Although humanoid in form, its gills, fin-lined limbs and bulbous eyes show that it actually evolved from fishes.
Psychological Traits: The gillman fears fire but otherwise has no identifiable emotions and exhibits no other psychological tendencies.

Bugbear (DW: aka Ire Goblin)
ATT 15; DEF 6; attacks with claws, ranging from (d6,3) to (d6+3,6), or thrown rocks (d3,2); AF 2 (but 0 v magical weapons); 9 HP initially; MAG DEF 4; EV 4; move 15m (30m); STEALTH 12; PERCEPTION 7 (darksight); special ability: swells in size, each round gaining +3 HP, +2 ATT, +1 Armour Bypass and +1 damage for three rounds, then shrinks back to normal size.

Appearance: A dwarfish figure with wrinkled pink skin, bullet shaped head and sharp fangs. Barely one metre tall, it is naked except for its oversized feet, which are entirely covered in thick curly fur.
Psychological Traits: Bugbears are subject to frenzy if wounded. Other than this they are immune to psychological effects.
Special Rules: If a bugbear becomes frenzied then it starts to swell in size. Each round it gains +5 WS, +1 S, and +1 T. This continues for four rounds (by which time it will be taller than a man) and then it suddenly “deflates” back to normal size.

Barghest
ATT 20; DEF 6; attacks by biting (d8,6) and transmits faerie poison – character must roll Psychic Talent or less on 3d6 or die; special attack: bark weakens characters within 30m (like the spell) and counts as a 1d12 fright attack which may deplete Strength to 0 (Spell Expiry applies); AF 2; 18 HP; MAG DEF 15; EV 6; move 15m (30m); STEALTH 24; PERCEPTION 17 (panoptical); special abilities: always gets surprise, gaze can transfix (MAG ATT 22), takes half damage from nonmagical weapons unless made of solid silver.

Appearance: A large black dog with flaring green eyes.
Special Rules: Bite transmits a faerie venom which causes the victim’s hair to turn white if a Poison test is failed. Bark requires anyone hearing it to test against Will Power or lose a point of Strength (it only barks once in any encounter). Gaze is hypnotic: test against Will Power or become transfixed until wounded, shaken or otherwise brought round. Magical or solid silver weapons inflict an extra 1d6 damage on the barghest.

WRAPPING UP

Even if the characters round up all the monsters, Altan will still be deprived of his former intellect. Sadly he returns to his tower, to fruitlessly spend his days trying to concentrate on his books in search of a cure. Players being what they are, they will probably shed few tears for him.

A berth on Captain Flint’s ship will take them south to Algandy – and beyond, into the Coradian Sea, if they wish. The fee is 250 Florins per character as far as Algandy, 500 Florins if they’re going all the way to the Ferromaine League. This allows the umpire to take up their adventure with the “Mungoda Gold” scenario in Dragon Warriors Book Six.

The adventure, while not featuring the more subtle elements of story and character, is an excellent opportunity for players to show their command of tactics. Hopefully they will come through it with the realization that a frontal assault is not always the best policy, and that it often pays to think before you fight.

The jackboot of stats

Another misguided attempt at writing up creature stats, this time for the Questworld pack I worked on for Games Workshop in the early 1980s. While playtesting one of the scenarios, Oliver Johnson had mentioned the Forest of the Serug - a typically evocative throwaway reference. I was intrigued and couldn't let it go. I kept coming up with abilities and spells for the Serug, dimly realizing each time that by doing so I was spoiling the mystery that made them so effective. (A point made very eloquently by JC in a comment to my recent post about Dunsany's gnoles.)

It's like all those Edwardian hunters who, confronted with the gob-smacking scale and profusion of wildlife in the tropics, let fly with both barrels. They had an emotion they needed to express, but they were going entirely the wrong way about it.

So my advice: use the stats for anything you like, but it will always be the undefined parts of your roleplaying world that most captivate the players.

THE SERUG

The Serug are a very ancient and mysterious species, rarely encountered, living only in certain areas of the forest named after them. Local woodsmen will sell information about the Serug, but for the most part this consists of half-truths or outright fabrication.

The principal characteristic of the Serug is their murderous whimsy. If they decide to interfere with a party of travellers (roughly 20% chance of this each day that the party spends in a Serug area), they will avoid a direct assault. Instead, they may use crafty diversions to divide the party and then pick off stragglers, or extinguish campfires with magic and make a fleeting night raid. The party may catch a glimpse of sinuous draconic forms , long many-jointed limbs, a hooked beak or snout – but no clear description should be given.

Characters will almost certainly never learn, therefore, that the Serug dwell in a network of tunnels and chambers under the forest roots, built millennia ago when the species was still relatively sane. The tunnels are very low, and have sudden twists and slopes which make them difficult for any but the Serug to use. Entrances are usually within the hollow trunks of trees, and very well concealed.

The Serug can use all normal battle magic, and also have their own spells for raising a ground-mist, controlling forest creatures, and obfuscating or entangling a trail. They see well in darkness, and so prefer to fight at night if at all. In melee a Serug will strike twice a round, once with its weapon, once with beak or claw. The usual battle tactic is to concentrate most of their efforts against one or two individuals, then disengage when they have inflicted enough damage.

The following are some of the more commonly held beliefs concern­ing the Serug. Most are false:

1. The Serug live on the moon and climb down to the ground using the tallest trees.
2. A Serug is only visible when stationary.
3. The Serug are actually a race of mad elves.
4. Having draconic ancestry, the Serug never harm dragonnewts.
5. There are no Serug, only men wearing costumes to frighten off interlopers.
6. The Serug are giant spiders.
7. The Serug are phantasms of the mind, and anyone seeing them will go mad.
8. The Serug will not attack anyone carrying sprigs of dried heather.
9. The Serug can only be hurt by fire.
10. The Serug will always leave one member of any group alive to tell the tale.

Players may hear any of these as tavern rumours. Only the last is in correct, though the referee may choose to have others derive from a kernel of truth.

ARMOUR: 4 point skin.

SPELLS: Any— typically about six spells per individual

SKILLS: Climbing 90%; Jumping 90%; Set Ambush 75%; Perception 80%; Stealth 80%

I'll leave the last word to Kirk Douglas:

Practising my art upon the gnoles

I can't imagine what possessed me to perpetrate this act of creative vandalism. Converting Lord Dunsany's gnoles to Runequest stats -- by Mung and his Beast, the very idea! My only excuse then is that I was young (it was the early 1980s), I was editing the Rune Rites column in White Dwarf, and there was a constant demand for new material -- especially monsters because RQ's hit location rules makes it pretty hard to improvise them as you go. But even so, what a wretched crime against a great fantasy author. And I really have no excuse for publishing it now except as a warning to others... Do me a favour; please at least read the story (and preferably pay for it; it's still in copyright) before you spoil it with these stats.

GNOLES

ARMOUR: 2 point skin; sometimes also leather (2 pts.) on body & limbs  

SPELLS: Befuddle; Healing 2; Shimmer 2; Darkwall

SKILLS: Climbing 80%; Listen 80%; Camouflage 90%; Hide in Cover 80%; Move Quietly 90%; Tracking 100% (in forest); Spot Hidden 50%

Travellers who have journeyed through the very deepest and most gloomy forests sometimes claim to have caught a glimpse of large beings moving with uncanny speed and agility through the trees. These are the fabled gnoles.

The reclusive gnoles care nothing for other races and are content to ignore anyone who is not determined to bother them. However, their hidden dwellings are often sought by avaricious and overconfident adventurers who covet their great treasure. Those who survive the other dangers of the forest and succeed in reaching one of the gnole lairs rarely live to brag of it, for the gnoles have several unique abilities that aid them in disposing of intruders...

Gnoles cannot be surprised. They are so aware of the forest and all its signs that they get several hours' warning when anyone is approaching. Moreover, gnoles almost always surprise their opponents; at a distance of 25 metres a gnole is 90% likely to be undiscernable when stationary.

Gnoles cannot see anything further than 20 metres from them (although their hearing is very acute and so they will still be aware of beings beyond this range), but closer than this they have full 360° vision, even through solid objects. They also have Detect Enemies to a range of 20 metres; this ability operates continually at no POW cost.

A gnole lair will contain 4-24 gnoles, all in permanent Mindspeech with one another. In appearance, gnoles are a mottled brown-black. They are slightly larger and more heavily built than an average man, but stand somewhat shorter owing to their stooped posture. They have prehensile hands and feet which enable them to climb rapidly in spite of their bulk.

Headcases (5)

The first evidence I can find of my predilection for severed-head monsters was way back in 1984 when I wrote the first Dragon Warriors book. That was the death's-head, pictured here by definitive DW artist Jon Hodgson. The description runs:

These vile supernatural creatures have the appearance of a human head with a long horn sprouting from the forehead and black bat-like wings behind the ears. They flap swiftly about their opponents, presenting a very difficult target (hence the high DEFENCE) and attacking with stabs of their sharp horn.

However, during the hours of daylight, the wings and horn of a death's-head become invisible and intangible, rendering it unable to fly. The monster gets around this problem by acquiring a host body. It devours the head of a victim and binds itself magically to the severed neck, using its sorcery to animate the body as a zombie. The death's-head then uses the host body to move around by day, passing itself off as human. It will always be on the lookout for a new host, however, as the decomposition of the body becomes obvious after a few days. A death's-head's disguise is thus 90% perfect on the first day after taking a new host, then 80% on the next day, and so on.

If attacked before sunset, the death's-head is bound to its stolen body and is thus less dangerous. It will use its host body to fight, using any weapon to hand, but the host body will have only the fighting skill of a normal zombie instead of the death's-head's own abilities given below. The fight is resolved just as though it were a combat with a normal zombie, except that any successful blow struck against the monster has a 10% chance of hitting the head and inflicting a wound on the death's-head itself. Otherwise the blow strikes the zombie body and reduces its Health Points.

The moment the sun sinks below the horizon, the death's-head regains its wings and horn and takes to the air. It will then scour the forests and lonely hill roads seeking a new host. It has a special spell, Spellbind, to help it overcome a foe without damaging his/her body. This spell is usable once per night, and cast with a MAGICAL ATTACK of 13. It has a range of 10m and, if successful, will cause the victim to stand in place while the death's-head kills him. Although a Hold Off the Dead spell will keep the stolen body of a death's-head at bay, it will not affect the death's-head itself as these creatures are not undead.

ATTACK 16    with horn (d10, 4 points)
DEFENCE 18
Armour Factor 3
MAGICAL DEFENCE 7
EVASION 7 
Movement: 
zombie host – 6m 
flying  –  30m
Health Points 1d6 + 2
Rank-equivalent: 6th

I'm not sure that I've ever used death's-heads in a game, though the Dragon Warriors scenario "The Honey Trap", written many years later, features a village of eerie critters obviously inspired by the penanggalan or the nukekubi. The reasoning there was probably that the players would expect some kind of vampiric nastiness, given that the adventure was set in Emphidor, but I obviously didn't want it to be too obvious. Come to think of it, I should have thrown in a harmless albino peasant just to incite the PCs into doing something they'd be ashamed of later. The differences from the usual South-east Asian flying heads (the sleepwalking, the taste for honey, bouncing like balloons) would be so that the knowledgeable Orientalists among the players (such as Paul Mason, Tim Harford or Jamie) couldn't accuse me of anatopism.